The End of 2012

This is one year I was happy to see end. 

 

But before it ended, we spent the month of December getting into the Christmas spirit.

 

We made a trip to Louisville (Libby's preschool class bear, Bailey, tagged along) where the girls got the chance to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas, and we also toured Kaleidoscope, a giant warehouse full of Chinese lantern type lights with a Christmas theme.

 

Although it was rainy, it was pretty warm, so we walked around the city, found a tasty place for lunch, and introduced the kids to Fourth Street Live, the Slugger Museum, and some other sites, then finished the day with an IMAX movie....about Polar Bears, of course!

 



 

It's our annual tradition to make a gingerbread house.  This year we turned the project over to the girls - and yes, that was painful, just painful.

 

We spent another beautiful weekend day in Cincinnati, visiting Krohn's Conservatory to see their train display and rain forests, the girls got (more) Santa time, we swung by Union Station to see their OMNIMAX movie about trains (are you sensing a theme here?) and then walked through the gardens at the Creation Museum on the way home.

By Christmas Eve, the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, and the pile of presents proved to the kids that Saint Nick was here!

 



 I love this picture.  I captured Anna's face when she realized we were getting her a hamster (which we got yesterday, a little spotted female named Cookie).

 

 

Nana and Plap Plap arrived around dinnertime, with a load of more gifts.  Earl and I, after enjoying a wonderful ham dinner, were able to give ourselves our Christmas present - a trip to the movies to see Les Miserables!  Anna went back to Pennsylvania for the next week, which got extended to this weekend because of an untimely snow storm. much to her dismay delight.

 

 

The Saturday after Christmas we received an unseasonably large snowfall.  It was the perfect packing snow, and Earl and Libby thoroughly enjoyed it!

 

Libby loved her snowman....perhaps a little too exuberantly...and ended up knocking it over. 

We rang in the new year in our typical low key way, with Libby in bed, and a spread of goodies for me and Earl.

 

Here's hoping 2013 brings more happiness to the Smith family!

A Season in a Nutshell

In August, the day before our world changed forever, Anna started school at Eastern.  She's rockin' the public school thing, loves the bus, has made new friends, and has a new found confidence.  She's also doing great, and we're expecting high honors on her report card.

 

 

In September we took Gabriel up to Pennsylvania to bury him next to my grandma A.

 

While there Earl and I were able to get away and visit one of our favorite spots in Western Pennsylvania - Moraine State Park.

 

We were highly entertained with the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus group.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 This one's for you, Mom.

 

 

 We made our annual visit to Evan's Orchard and made these very tastey caramel apples.....and apple pie....and apple sauce...

 

 

October brought fall break and a quick trip to Lake Erie while the kids stayed with my parents (and, ironically, ALSO vacationed at Lake Erie)

 

It was not warm, but it was beautiful and rugged, and we found miles of empty beaches to walk. 

 

 

 The Flagship Niagara (Google it) was making an out of season sail (errr....motor) around the lake with a group of school kids.  This was the extent of sail we were able to see.  I don't think it ever did go under full sail.

 

 

 

 The sunsets were incredible...

 

 

We discovered this little gem, Asbury Park, small but filled with long trails meandering through old-growth forest.



 

 

 

 

...and more sunsets...



 

Rain changed our plans, which ended up for the best, since we took a long ride on the Oil Creek & Titusville Railroad through the mountains, along the Oil Creek, and past historic oil sites.

 

 

 

Here is the replica of what started our obsession with the internal combustion engine.

 



 

As part of Operation-Love-Fall we took Anna on a day trip to Natural Bridge.

 

 

October also brought about our favorite weekend - Slippery Rock Homecoming!

 

 

 

Every year we freeze through the football game!

 

 

As part of the oil-love I caught this picture of an Marcellus Shale oil well in progress on the road my parents live on.  The flames were to wick the oil to the surface so it could be collected.

 



 

 

Emma brought Aunt Kathy down for a visit over Halloween.  Indy is slowly warming up to the canine species. Shhhh...don't tell Ella!

 



 

 

Charlie Brown found a vampire and the Queen of Hearts in the backyard so I snapped a photo!



 

 Well, that was our fall in a nutshell.

 

 

 

 

Remembering Gabriel

Four weeks ago
on August 10th at 5:40 in the morning
our lives changed forever. 

Our tiny baby boy, Gabriel Joshua, was born. 

 

He came several months too early and we knew from an ultrasound before that his heart no longer beat.

 

There are really no words to describe how terrible it is to lose a child.

Any woman who's been pregnant knows that the first trimester is precarious and that miscarriages are common, and everyone's seen preemie babies on TV on the March of Dimes commercials.

But what about the babies whose hearts just stop beating?

We were just to the "fun" part of pregnancy.  We knew Gabe was going to be a boy.  We had counted his little fingers and toes on an ultrasound, watched him wiggle around and cross his legs and cover his face with his hands.  Everything checked out fine and we had no reason to worry.

I was beginning to discover his personality -
he liked to curl up in a little baby ball on my right side...
he was always more active in the evenings...
when the girls were rough housing he'd be kicking away like he wanted to join them...
he'd always stop moving as soon as I told Earl he was...like he knew...=)

And then one day he was just....gone.

Instead of carseats we had to learn all about "burial cradles".

Instead of seeing his name on the wall decal I had picked out, it's on his headstone.

It sucks.

All we have left of him is a tiny grave, a box full of photos and foot and hand prints, a stack of little blue clothes with their tags still attached, and broken hearts.

I can't even begin to understand why God chose us to carry this burden.  WHY?  Why our baby who was planned and wanted and loved??

It makes no sense.

But if I've learned one thing through this nightmare it's that perinatal loss happens far too often, to far too many people who desperately want their babies.

And it's not fair.

I have no doubt that Gabe is in Heaven and I'll see him again, but that doesn't change the fact that I miss him now.

I also know (in my head, at least...my heart is another matter) that God has a purpose in this, that Gabriel's death was not an accident or a mistake, and that He has something else in store for us.

So please, please, continue to pray for us over these next few weeks...months...maybe even years.